I spent last night unable to sleep.
No position was comfy.
All my muscles were tense.
Feeling oppressed by my own body and mind.
There’s no escaping the prison I make for myself.
Today has been a struggle.
The house is a mess.
Full of stuff.
Boo didn’t nap.
All I wanted was time alone to process.
To clean and scrub the thoughts away.
Anxious. Anxious. Anxious.
Out this evening, more time talking.
The drive was horrendous.
I can feel every muscle wound up tight.
I can see headlights still dazzling in my eyes.
I know it will be another night.
Of no sleep.
I’m lying here angry because it’s better than anxious.
How do I make my own mind shut up?
How do I just go the fuck to sleep?