The grouchy Mum

The grouchy Mum

After months of being pretty distant due to depression and anxiety, I suddenly feel able to take part in life again … but it seems to have come at a cost … to my husband and daughter.

 

I want to do everything

I want a perfect house.

I want to earn money.

I want to raise money for charity.

I want my blog to succeed.

I want to grow my social media.

I want to see my friends.

I want to go out.

A brilliant night out exploring cocktail menus

And so far I have been achieving those things (apart from the perfect house, it’s still a tip). But that means I am busy busy busy and attached to my phone. I’ve started putting my phone in another room and only responding to social media comments at certain times … but given that 2 of my side hustles are online, I need to be near my phone. It’s a balancing act I am not getting right yet.

 

We had a jam packed half term full of fun. But that meant spending more money than we had planned which in a one income household, is quite stressful. And all the fun means we are all tired.

Out running to raise money for ICP Support

The plans we really need to do – renovating our bedroom, sorting the house … well they come last. Meaning we are living in chaos. And that does not do any of us any good. Boo keeps saying that the house is messy. You know when your toddler says that, you have a bit of a problem!!

 

All of this has lead to one thing: a grouchy Mum. I am grumpy. My temper is frayed and it doesn’t take much to make my tone change. You can hear the lack of patience in my voice. Not cool. I really really hate it. I hate snapping at  Boo and my husband.

Selling clothes on eBay as one little side hustle

I know I promised to go slow and steady, but I don’t know how. I guess because I feel pressure to earn money I don’t feel like I can switch off. And I feel like I’ve missed out on so much I just want to catch up on lost time. I want to do it all.

A trip to the beach and Oceanarium

But it is making me grumpy.

Then I feel guilty.

So then Boo gets a donut as a snack and a babyccino with sprinkles to try and assuage my guilt.

Then I feel guilty because I’m using food as a bribe which isn’t something I like doing.

Guilt. Grump. Guilt. Grouch.

A guilt induced babyccino and donut

Maybe this will be the week I finally find some balance and learn to live at a pace that suits us? I hope so!!

 

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2 Comments

  1. 19/02/2018 / 20:48

    I’m finding it difficult to make time to get everything done and spend quality time with the family too. I’ve started to do a daily list with a couple of things I need to get donew around the house, for my blog and for me. Fingers crossed it helps me make headway but at least I feel more organised. Your comment about your toddler saying the house was messy made me laugh. I hope you find a balance soon, and at least you had a lovely half term together.

    • The Muddled Mum
      19/02/2018 / 21:34

      Thank you – I made a list today and got it all done so that was good! I’m always complaining about mess so she has obviously picked it up from me … gotta be careful what you say around children!!

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