Yesterday, there was a temporary blip on my happy horizon. I felt a surge of fear based adrenaline. Everything was fine, there is nothing to worry about; however, the adrenaline had done its job.
I felt withdrawn and needed to be alone.
I had weird dreams.
I woke up feeling like my chest was in a vice.
But, thankfully, loudest of all, was my inner voice shouting “You are not going to feel like this today!” Today is the first day of the summer holidays. I am determined to relax and unwind after a tough year. So here is what I have done this morning to restore calm:
- Alone time. I can’t escape it; I need time to process the facts by myself. This meant reviewing a few things. Making some small changes. Reassuring myself that what I knew to be true, was, in fact, true.
- Talk. I cannot stress this enough. If you are anxious: talk. Find the right person to talk to – someone who knows you well and loves and cares for you. Then talk it through with them. You will start to feel the bubble of anxiety that is making your chest feel like it might burst open, start to deflate. Sadly, adrenaline means this balloon keeps re-inflating. But it’s good to get the process of Project Calm started.
- Move. Adrenaline needs to physically dissipate. Moving – such as walking or swimming – can really help to start to move the chemical out of your body that is making you feel like you have a vice around your chest.
- Relax. Now this sounds ridiculous. It’s pretty hard to relax when you feel adrenaline pumping around your body. But after chatting to M he suggested some things that I like doing to relax. Wonderful husband – he knows me so well. I went and had a bath. Switch off my phone. And read. Glorious!
- Remember your coping strategies. You may have other ways of making you feel good. I wanted to come and write this blog. It makes me feel so good to release all of these thoughts. As I write, I can feel the final few drops of rocket-fuel-adrenaline escape. I feel like I’m sinking down onto a fluffy pillow after being stuck on the ceiling, pinned up by anxiety.
Today, I also turned to my tribe. My people. For me, that isn’t just the people I know, but the other bloggers and authors out there who are on my wavelength. I messaged Brummy Mummy of 2. She doesn’t know me but I love her blog and it felt good to reach out. I read Happy by Fearne Cotton. The opening chapters about what depression feels like and the start of her path out of it were comforting to read. I am not alone. I then picked up Hurrah For Gin by Katie Kirby. I read the chapter on saying goodbye to babies too soon. Again, I felt that I wasn’t alone. I felt connected. Plus she’s hilarious. Finally I flicked through Scummy Mummies by Ellie Gibson and Helen Thorn. The Scummy Mummy Confessions had me roaring with laughter. We are all the same. Honesty is brilliant.
Peace, calm and contentment restored. So glad to have this space to write so that I no longer have to deal with wild horses galloping around inside my chest for the next few days. Here’s to being open and honest and being mentally well.