Alan Brazil once wrestled a Frenchman stark naked – because he thought he was having an affair with his wife.
The jolly Scotsman was visiting the Prix de l’Arc de Triomphe in Paris with some pals but got back to his hotel late, where his party – including his wife – was staying.
But a mix-up saw him wrongly accuse a man of sleeping with his spouse – resulting in a fight in the nude.
Brazil, who spent two years at Manchester United, detailed how such an encounter came to happening in his new book Only Here For A Visit.
He wrote: “My wife was in Paris with another couple and I thought they’d be in the bar and p***ed off waiting for me.
"But they were nowhere to be seen. And when I went to check in, the receptionist said to me, ‘Sorry, sir, but you don’t appear to have a reservation.’
“I asked, ‘Is this the InterContinental Champs-Elysees?’
“‘Well, this must be the right hotel, my wife’s already checked in.’
“‘Oh. Hold on. There are two InterContinentals. We have a sister hotel further down the road, it must be that one.’
"'Great. How do I get there? I’m not getting a taxi.’
“‘Don’t worry, we have our own driver. Go back to the bar and I’ll let you know when he’s here.’
“I spent another half an hour drinking in the bar before the car turned up and whisked me to this other hotel.
“My wife and the other couple weren’t downstairs, so I checked in and went up to my room.
“When I walked in, I could hear Jill having a shower. And because it was now quite late, I jumped straight into bed.
“But just as I was dozing off, the bathroom door opened and this strange bloke came wandering out with a towel around his waist.
“At which point, all hell broke loose. He was screaming at me to get out and I was screaming at him, while trying to see if Jill was in the bathroom.
“In no time it got a little bit aggressive, we started wrestling, and I eventually got this bloke in an armlock.
"I was b*****k naked and he was b*****k naked, because his towel had fallen off.
“While we were still in this semi-passionate embrace, I heard a knocking at the door and someone saying, ‘Monsieur? Monsieur? Is there anything wrong?’
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“Me and this bloke immediately ceased hostilities and when I opened the door I found the manager and my missus standing in the corridor.
“The numpties had given me the wrong key. Poor bloke, finding a naked me on his bed.
“But spare a thought for me too — I thought Jill was having an affair with him!
“As you can imagine, it took me quite a while to calm down after that.
“Once I had, I realised I’d left most of my money on the sideboard in the bloke’s room.
“I was too embarrassed to go back, so at least he earned a few quid from the fight.”
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